THE ELEGANT SPACE

A few months ago, I was heading into our local gas station when I saw a man leaning against the wall, shoulders hunched, his face buried in his cell phone as he scrolled. He looked up anxiously as I approached, and I smiled and said, “Hello, beautiful day, isn’t it?” something I often say when I make eye contact with people on the street. Startled, he gave me a wan smile and quickly went back to scrolling. When I came out, he was still there. As I opened my car door, he approached me with an outstretched hand and a welcoming smile. “I want to thank you for your beautiful smile,” he said. “I was feeling totally desperate, and now I feel so much better thanks to you.”

As I drove away, I thought it costs nothing to reach out, connect, and maybe even make someone feel better. A smile or a kind word always makes us feel better. Even a few seconds out of our day can make a difference in someone’s life, making them feel seen and valued. It made me think: if human interaction is that powerful, how much better would the world be if we made more effort to relate to one another one-on-one?

Disturbingly, a recent *study found that the average number of words we speak each day fell by twenty-eight percent between 2005 and 2019 due to the impact of technology. It’s a fair bet to say that today AI has pushed that number even lower. Because it’s in our essential nature to be tribal and connect one-on-one, the negative impact on our mental health has become enormous, with more of us taking anxiety medication than ever before.

How did we get here?

Ever since humans moved from nomadic tribes into permanent settlements, leaders have created social systems to keep the peace, improve productivity, and provide security. Today, systems shape nearly every aspect of how we live: economics, government, politics, education, health, justice, and, for some, even religious practice. Any of these systems can create vulnerability and compromise our authenticity, creativity, and connection. With the explosion of AI, many systems now skip human connection altogether and focus entirely on efficiency and profit. Little wonder we are becoming increasingly anxious and isolated, because these systems are a fact of life, whether we like it or not.

Does anyone benefit when social systems create isolation and anxiety? Whether societal systems benefit the wellbeing of the people they are supposed to serve depends upon the agenda of those who control them.

Today, we have a great responsibility to reach out to one another one-on-one because only heartfelt human connection can help combat the isolation many of us are experiencing and salvage our autonomy. This crisis has prompted me to host a **Safe Space Community Gathering on Zoom on the last Tuesday of every month. It’s an open, supportive, non-judgmental space where you can share what’s on your mind, listen to others, or just quietly soak in the good vibes with no pressure to speak if you don’t want to. More and more people are joining in as we come together to share, inspire, and help one another. It’s proving to be a valuable and refreshing experience.

Taking time for one-on-one conversation can build a bridge of humanity between people who may see life differently. It can create empathy and remind us that the person across from us is more than a label, job title, political party, or social-media profile. It’s harder to judge people when you see a human face and hear their story. We soon discover we have more in common than we thought. It helps us to make more discerning choices regarding how we spend our time and with whom.

Conversation also creates belonging. Being heard tells us that we matter. That we are valued. Listening tells another person the same thing. Real-time connection reduces loneliness, lowers anxiety, and strengthens bonds.

It’s good for business, too. People work better together when they trust one another, and trust is rarely built through automated messages and online profiles. It grows through honest, personal exchanges and shared experiences while reducing misunderstandings and false assumptions. It often opens the door to additional ideas, opportunities, and shared growth.

Technology can connect us, and advances in technological innovation for human benefit are truly amazing, but when it comes to our mental health and well-being, nothing replaces human interaction. So, when you can, call, don’t text. Meet up and spend time together. Speak from the heart, be curious, and be open to opinions that differ from yours. You’ll be amazed by what you can learn and what you achieve.

One-on-one conversation may seem like a small act. In a system that is profiting from your anxiety, isolation, and division, it is something more. It is a way back to find yourself as we rediscover one another and the sacred universal truth that we and our world are one interconnected system, and what affects one of us affects all of us. And don’t forget: make someone’s day and share a smile.