elegant aspirations

These days, there's a significant focus on entitlement. It has become a lightning rod for controversy and is often politically weaponized. One person's entitlement becomes the target of another's outrage. So, what are we entitled to (if anything), and who determines who gets what? These are loaded questions that have plagued mankind since records began.

Entitlement shapes our world because specific individuals or groups view themselves as special. This sense of specialness fuels conquests and colonization, slavery, the creation of countries and borders, the rise and fall of empires, the destruction of the planet, and multiple expressions of oppression, exploitation, and inequality.

When we consider how destructive entitlement is, how can we find ourselves in what is often described as an "era of entitlement"? A concept now so fraught with complexity that only divisive political posturing can create. For example, today, some see a society that expects something for nothing. In contrast, others see particular entitlements as a safety net to offset the harsh realities of an unequal societal machine.

But this is only a part of the story. More profound forces are at play here than spats over who gets what. The "Me Generation" was coined by the author Tom Wolfe in the 1970s. He identified a growing focus on self-absorption and radical autonomy in society, rooted in the 1960s and early 1970s counterculture movement. Self-expression became all the rage as the Boomer Generation thumbed its nose at the horrified establishment.

It's little wonder that the "Greatest Generation," who lived through the Great Depression and fought in World War II, known for resilience, duty, and selflessness, suddenly found themselves in an alien cultural landscape. For them, introspection and expressions of individuality scarcely existed.

This dramatic shift from focusing on the external world to exploring the individual's inner world changed everything. The positive result of this shift is significant if introspection is used to gain a deeper understanding of what motivates us and how we affect others. That said, since the 1970s, what has been happening is that by becoming fixated on ourselves, we have been consumed by all the tempting distractions of self-absorption. 

By putting ourselves at the center of the universe, we neglected our shared humanity, which led to the inevitable erosion of community, the mental health crisis, and the pursuit of wealth at any price. Even aspects of holistic health and wellness and the New Age spirituality movements (positive developments in themselves) have been co-opted in some instances by opportunists who are selling the lure of the quick fix designed to appeal to our feelings of entitlement. This results in magical claims such as "five easy steps to freedom," "the seven-day wonder diet," and the notion that if you sit on your yoga mat imagining yourself at the Oscars, you can make it happen because that's how special you are.

This belief in our specialness (individually and collectively) is at the heart of many global and personal issues troubling us today. The irony is that when we perceive ourselves as special and different from everyone else, we set ourselves up for a lifetime of conflict and misery. Step into your inner elegant space, reflect on your life, and assess how any feelings of entitlement you may have (and we all do) negatively impact you and those around you.

Do you expect special treatment, crave constant validation, and often refuse to take responsibility for your actions, preferring to blame others or play the victim? How much do you care about others, and how your behavior impacts them? Do you get hostile when criticized, even if it's meant well? Do you see things in black and white, believe rules don't apply to you, and think you have a right to be happy? Do you get jealous when others do well or get attention? Do you brag and exaggerate? Do you feel misunderstood and attacked? Do you get defensive and even hostile?

When we surround ourselves with unrealistic expectations and broken relationships, we experience disappointment and unhappiness. The truth is that we are no more entitled to anything than a devastated orphan child searching for food in the rubble. Our lives are uniquely designed for our spiritual journey, and we arrive with no certainties or guarantees. Material privilege can be seductive, making it easy to take things for granted and overlook the suffering of others. Life can change in an instant, so we should never take anything for granted. Instead, focus on gratitude, which is an effective antidote to entitlement. What we have and our unique gifts are blessings that allow us to support those in need.

Feeling entitled blinds us to the sacred and scientific laws of our interconnectedness. As Bill Bailey puts it, "We live in the age of entitlement, as opposed to enlightenment." Never forget that entitlement signifies separatism. Therefore, if you seek a more fulfilling and peaceful life, always check yourself when you feel entitled to something. Progress toward a more peaceful and equitable world isn't possible unless it includes us all. And that would be special indeed!