elegant aspirations

We live in a rapidly changing world, transforming before our eyes. We have instant access to more information, knowledge, and choice than we can explore in a lifetime. Yet, one of the great paradoxes of our time is that, at this pivotal moment, feelings of boredom are on the rise.  

Boredom can seem benign, but in truth, it is a complex psychological and spiritual condition with significant ramifications. Humans have always experienced these complex feelings of weariness, restlessness, and a lack of interest in life. The Roman philosopher Seneca described this emotional state as “nausea”. Other words used have run the gamut from “tedium” to “melancholia” to the French, “ennui.”

The word “boredom”, however, first appeared in popular culture in 1852, coined by Charles Dickens in his serial, Bleak House, to describe the condition of Lady Deadlock, who is “bored to death”, locked up in her gilded cage of a life longing for the man she loves and the daughter she has lost. This tragic portrait of chronic boredom encompasses a profound and disturbing psychological state of fear and heartbreak.

Lady Deadlock is not alone. Literature is littered with characters for whom boredom becomes a matter of life and death, the result of catastrophic choices they make to escape boring lives, such as Madame Bovary and Anna Karenina. What these many works of fiction explore is that boredom has a dark side, rooted in spiritual and emotional depression and anxiety.

It’s not all tragic, however, because boredom has many faces: You might feel a bit indifferent to what is happening, but you're not distressed. You are not interested in what’s going on, and your mind drifts. You feel restless and eager for change and stimulation. You feel trapped and desperate to escape. You feel hopeless and helpless.

Feelings of boredom are complex, and understanding what makes you bored and why is essential for your quality of life. And here’s where we run into the additional challenge of today. Constant access to instant gratification lures us with the false promise of relieving boredom, and just like junk food, it leaves us continually empty and wanting more. So habitual has this state become that the mere idea of disconnecting to connect with our own thoughts and feelings, to say nothing of a power greater than ourselves, is alien and even alarming for many.

A research team led by Social Psychologist Timothy Wilson published findings in Science Magazine (July 2014)* showing that many people would rather administer electric shocks to themselves than sit in silence with only their thoughts for company for even 6 to 15 minutes.

This disconnection with what we think and how we feel accounts for much of today’s rise in boredom. As previously explored in my recent article, “Limited Resources?”* You are your greatest resource, while understanding yourself better is your greatest challenge. Disconnecting from the chatter and stepping into your elegant space to connect with yourself is the only way to understand what makes you feel bored and why you react as you do. Your aim is to create more space between what you are experiencing and your reactions to it. This transforms you from being reactive, impulsive, and at the mercy of events, to making conscious, positive choices that can significantly improve your life.

We all get bored sometimes, but how we respond to it matters significantly. As Jon Kabat-Zinn says, “When you pay attention to boredom, it gets unbelievably interesting.” Boredom can be harmful when used destructively, leading to depression, anxiety, and even harmful behaviors like addiction and antisocial actions. But it is highly beneficial when we use it creatively to inspire us to find interesting, constructive, and innovative things to do. 

I share this piece of wisdom (which has been of great help to me) if you are grappling with boredom. You have been granted the gift of life, and there is a reason why you are here now, even though you may never fully comprehend what it is. The moment you are living right now, as you read this, will NEVER come again. Along with life comes the sacred gift of free will, which you can use to make a positive choice with every breath you take and every step you make. With positive choices, the negative effects of boredom diminish because you open your life to receive the miracles of synchronicity, connection, and collaboration. This is it. This is now. This is what you have. Don’t squander it. Boredom can be your friend or your foe – creative or destructive - the choice is yours.